Friday, February 18, 2011

Does it ever stop?

I wonder sometimes if I will ever stop being scared. Scared for Hannah.

When every cough when or after she is eating makes my heart stop...or when she eats dinner then immediately says my tummy and throat hurt.

She did that last night and I can say I was a mess inside. She asked for mcdonalds chicken nuggets and after said her tummy and throat hurt and that she felt sick. My heart stopped then started going about a thousand beats per minute as I calmly(on the outside) took a look at her. No hives, no swelling, no change in voice, no coughing....but she said it hurt and she needed medicine. I was honestly scared because I wasn't sure if it was a "mild" reaction or just a normal childhood tummyache.

What bothers me the most is that I was panicking on the inside. I have seen her have a reaction and had to use epi on her in the past. I was strangely calm then but last night I was a mess inside.

Does the worrying and constant anxiety go away? Get better??
Turns out it was just a tummy ache. But I was still a mess inside. :(


lori said...

Hi Jen ~ You raise such an important point. We have found over the years, our anxious feelings have decreased quite a bit thanks to Benjamin's ability to self-advocate. The psychological impact of food allergies are tremendous. I admire how you modeled calm behavior in front of your daughter while assessing her symptoms...your demeanor will have a positive impact on her! Thank you for sharing this experience. All the best, Lori

HannahsMomma said...

Lori--it makes me feel a lot better that you say it gets better as the kids get older. I just pray that she is mature and able to have the self confidence to advocate for herself and not feel uncomfortable/embarrassed/etc